Here I am, days after birthing another little oompaloompa into the world and I'm feeling sooo calm, happy, not sore and even liberated! Which all comes as a massive surprise as I was expecting to feel awful for at least two weeks. The birth of Fia left me anxious, barely moving from discomfort, feeling sad that her innocence had been taken out of her perfect space to be in this world, and a total mama bear fierceness wouldnt let anyone take her away from me. Her birth had been one where my choices had been stripped away from me even after months of discussions. I was simply a body on the table and my care providers were just going by the rule book. Total disempowerment on my part even though it was a completely low risk pregnancy. Paul and I felt pressured to bring on labour before our little baby was ready, my body was probed soo many times, we were constantly being told about the hospital despite wanting a homebirth and of course thats where we ended up after 48 hrs of labour. When Fia was finally born they cut her cord the very second she was out (1 of only 2 things I firmly wanted was delayed clamping) and whisked her off to a table that had freaking wheels. Hello! Push the table to the bedside!! When they put her in my arms after all that I was detached from her cries, which felt awful after loving her so hard in my belly. Thankfully we got past the trauma and fell in love with our precious little girl, just grateful she was alive and well.
Contrast that to the birth of Nova. I had one or two regular appointments at the hospital; both times Fia got sick and the second time my midwife was so detached and telling me about c-sections, inductions and every other risk I burst out crying and knew I had to call Jasmijn and Jenny. Two of my favourite people in the world now!
My midwife visits consisted of cups of tea on my couch, gentle touch on my belly and a listen to the heartbeat. Of course we knew all the risks involved with big babies but we werent being constantly reminded. Paul is 6 foot 10, our babies are going to big! Our questions were being answered directly and we were pushed to think about everything we wanted!
I was given pre natal goodies; to help the baby come in good time, to keep my parts soft so I wouldnt tear. I was given so much helpful information and anecdotes, empowering my mind and physical state of being while we all trusted my body to follow its natural process!
I felt normal, crazy huh!
Even when Nova was in breech position at 36 weeks we had a calm discussion with Jasmijn about birthing in the hospital if it eventuated but who also suggested a few yoga moves and body positions to help encourage Nova to turn. 2 days later she was in perfect birthing position!
At 42weeks + 2days Nova decided to send me some niggles. Fia went for an evening with her grandparents while we went for a walk on the beach as Jasmijn suggested. We came home and Paul calmly filled the birthing pool while I sorted out some last minute things and then I hopped in as Jenny and Jas arrived. They calmly floated around setting everything up and breathing with me that I didnt realise I was halfway through labour.
As experienced homebirth midwives they dont take any unnecessary risks like breaking waters. Jasmijn and Jenny were so respectful of me, quietly talking but stopped talking through painful contractions, breathing with me and wiping my forehead with cool cloths. No poking and prodding, just checking Nova's heartrate, peaking to check on progress and calmly helping me swap positions if it was needed (even when I was swearing haha). After Nova arrived their happiness was felt, along with the loving way they looked and checked on Nova. They let me snooze while they cleaned any mess (including my dishes from the day!) before calmly making me go to the toilet and checking everything was ok before tucking me into bed again. Jenny amazingly set off with the placenta to dehydrate, grind and capsulate to supplement my mineral loss and overall postpartum health while Jasmijn set me up with tinctures and poke root cream for any sore breasts or hint of milk fever (lifesaver!).
I am so thankful for Jasmijn and Jenny and the whole experience!! I was allowed to be empowered by my female body and all its capabilities, trust the process and have a wonderfully positive pregnancy.
If I were to do it all again I would do it exactly the same, which is quite a declaration in this era where mothers so often have birth trauma!