Friday Night 18/08/23 my “due date”.
In my mind I officially began the countdown “only 10 days to go” I told myself. Knox & Winnie had both been 10 days after their due date, so I didn’t expect anything different with this one. They were at a pre-arranged sleepover with their grandparents. Jackson and I had a nice quiet dinner and a glass of wine together. I remember Peace Train by Cat Stevens coming on and I laughed and said we were on the peace train tonight as the house was so quiet and Jackson was especially looking forward to a full night sleep after a big week at work…
I went to bed around 10:00pm but I didn’t feel like sleeping so popped on Netflix, around 11:00pm I got a strange familiar feeling, very faint but I thought hmm maybe this IS it? A few minutes later it happened again, I went to the toilet and discovered a bloody show - instant nerves! I took a photo and sent to Jas. She said to just have a lay down whilst I could but things will probably happen soon! I hopped back into bed but couldn’t relax as the pains (now obvious contractions) were continuing, not strong just regular and I was also very excited. I got up and had a walk around. I put some wood on the fire, opened up the doors to the toy room where I would be birthing and started to mentally prepare for what was going to happen!
I went back into the bedroom around 11:30pm and woke Jackson, he wasn’t that excited that his uninterrupted, child free, full night sleep was now not going to happen! Ha!
I told him not to get up just yet as it was only early on, and I was fine just pottering around. I walked out of the bedroom and into the toy room and began blowing up the pool, completely oblivious to how loud an air pump would be in the middle of the night. No surprise that a few minutes later Jackson joined me as he said it was a bit hard to sleep now, oops haha!
I had my playlist, diffuser and lamp on and set a little bed up with waterproof sheets and blankets next to the pool. This was one of my favourite parts of the night. It was so quiet, calm and beautiful and I just felt so relaxed and ready for what was to come! Nerves were still there but they were excited nerves! Contractions continued to happen every 5-10 minutes, still not overly painful though. I was texting Jas keeping her updated and she said they were both at Jenny’s- only 5 mins away so could come whenever. Around midnight they arrived as I had text asking them to come. I wasn’t in too much pain or felt like anything was going to happen, I just wanted them to be here and I’m so glad I did. As soon as they arrived the feeling of euphoria intensified! Everything I had wished for and looked forward to for 12+ months was finally happening, it was wonderful! They were like busy little elves pottering around, setting things up and just being there for me when I needed but also giving me the space to do whatever I wanted. Contractions started to intensify, and I remember standing in the kitchen trying to talk through them and said even at home, in the most perfect environment, they were still shit! Ha!
I took myself into the room alone and just laid on the bed, focused on my breathing, listened to the music and enjoyed the moment as much as I could between contractions. I sent my sister a text and she arrived a bit after midnight. She was a great support for the both of us! The pool was full and warm by now, so I hopped in as I was starting to get uncomfortable on the bed with the intensity of the contractions.
Once in the pool I instantly relaxed. It was so lovely just swishing the water around with my hand, listening to the sound of it whilst also trying to sing along to songs on my playlist. Contractions got longer and closer together and I was really struggling to get comfortable anymore. Jas kept telling me that I’d know when transition was happening and to push when I felt like I needed to or otherwise just let my body do what it needs to do itself. The calmness and no pressure to do anything was so comforting, we all knew my body could do it on its own if need be. I was still on my side at this stage but was getting agitated and uncomfortable, so Jenny suggested I hang over the side of the pool. This was a good change. I felt in a more powerful position to do what I needed to do.
Just as I was feeling completely fed up/done/frustrated and unsure how long it was going to continue like this for, everything changed, and I was suddenly wanting to push. It was intense and felt so hard and so painful that I said more than once that I couldn’t do it. Each time there was support and reassurance from Jackson, Jenny and Jas. I knew I could do it, I just had to mentally get there. I finally felt the head so close to being out, I just had to wait for a final contraction and with Jenny’s encouragement to give a big, long deep push I felt the head emerge. I was so close! A few little pants and then the most amazing feeling in the world when our little baby sloshed into the water and all the pain instantly stopped! I slumped over the side of the pool and cried with so much joy and relief that it was finally done!
I looked up at Jackson and asked him “what is it?”, he replied with a smirk on his face “a boy” and the tears streamed down my face. Our sweet baby boy Roo J Howell, born at home in the water at 2:15am, was everything I’d wished for!
